the BIG question: what's our purpose in life?

  I've been contemplating this question a lot as of lately. What is the purpose of my life? Why was I created? As I struggle with sin and how it looks in my life I often find myself thinking, "well I'm not going to hell for it so it should be fine". I can tell this little lie, I can do this one thing one time because I've been saved by grace. Maybe I am the person that Paul is talking to in Romans 6. "Shall we go sinning so that grace may abound?- By no means."
     "By no means..."
 I've always read that part of Romans almost sarcastically, like who would actually sin just because grace has been given? Are you even a christian? But that is so hypocritical of me. Paul isn't just talking about sinning for the sake of sinning, he is writing on a key point of what it means to be a christian- being alive in Christ. We are called to die to ourselves. DIE. we should put to DEATH anything that stands in the way of righteousness. That doesn't mean just getting by, just trying to not get to hell. It means living life in the way of the righteous. We should always try to be like Christ, the good samaritan. Not to be an okay samaritan, not just a decent person that only wants to escape eternal punishment, a good and righteous samaritan. You cannot do that if you aren't purposefully trying to live out the Gospel in every way, shape, and form. 
  It sucks. Putting yourself to death sucks. 
 I think of Stavesacre here; they have a song called "Kill My Darlings". The lyrics speak about how much it hurts to put to death yourself. The song uses the word "darlings" to mean earthly things that can hold you back from being all that we are meant to be. It makes me wonder if I am keeping my "darlings" around just because I won't go to hell for them. Am I really willing to kill them?

"Kill the lights
Sever all lines
Lock the doors from deep inside
Tonight, no one’s home
No Idiot Wind
Soothing din
Distracting from the task at hand
Tonight,
’ll know what I can know
I’m dying tonight
I’m taking my time
Perfection begins when it hurts
I’m healing in slashes and burns
And that’s how you live with a curse
To separate
Concentrate
Surrendering through meditation
Centering a soul
A Kingdom First
A Blade of Verse
Deconstruction in reverse
What have I ever really known?
Leave it all behind
Nothing here is mine
But – IwantitIneeditInurtureandfeedit
Kill my darlings, once and for all time
Because nothing here is mine
Nothing here is mine
I leave it all behind
And that’s how you live…
That’s how you live…
That’s how you live with a curse"

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